The Cost of "Easy" and the Effort of "Normal"

Have you ever had a light bulb moment that told you, maybe, just maybe, you aren’t "normal"?

Stay with me here. My definition of normal and yours can be wildly different, and that’s okay. Why are we so obsessed with conforming?

I used to think I wasn't. I was wrong. 

I thought I was comfortable standing out. But I made the mistake of assuming that "standing out" was my default state - that it took no effort, no alertness. 

I realized that your comfort state and your default state are often two very different things.

Your default state is the path of least resistance. It’s the mental programming society has spent years installing in you. It is what happens when you let go completely and "go with the flow."

But here’s the catch: the flow isn't always in your favor. It doesn't always make you feel safe.

Growth is almost always associated with discomfort, but I feel the opposite. To me, comfort means alignment. It takes immense effort to align yourself, but once you are there, you finally feel like yourself.

In the real world, "default" is simply what popular opinion expects of you. It means blending in. So to go in the opposite direction - to choose the path few would - is to be unpopular. 

Fair warning, you might, well you will definitely, not be liked. Not right away, not for long. 

But as long as you aren’t pulling people down, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone... how does it actually matter?

True ease only arrives after a mental shift that changes the "struggle" into a "practice."

Once you accept that you will always be the "weird". 

Once you accept that you won't have a 1,000 close friends, but perhaps 10 great ones spread across the globe and never next door. 

Once you accept that you are still figuring it out - that you don't know enough yet to let your "default" brain make the crucial decisions.

Once you accept that your "normal" state requires effort, and that "easy" is actually an oxymoron.

Only then does life actually become easy.

In my opinion, the dictionary definition of "easy" often leads to a life that feels uncomfortable, unsafe, and suffocated. It’s the ease of a cage.

I’ve realized that my "easy" is the one that takes effort. 

It’s the effort of weeding the garden, of choosing the unpopular path, and of constantly checking my alignment.

Accept that your "easy" looks like hard work & unnecessary effort to everyone else. 

Accept that finding your community will be harder than it is for most. And it will be at the most unlikely of places. 

For me it was my yoga studio in Chicago. 

Because otherwise, life will always be a fight against a current that was never meant for you. Or you will drown.  What ChatGPT Thinks of Me: ISB Now, Chicago Before, Eventually Everywhere. 

Wandering with a Purpose